So, Friday night I went to a great movie with my husband - I wanted to come home and post something about it while it was fresh on my mind, but of course things got too busy - so, hopefully I can remember some of my thoughts from the night. We went and saw Julie and Julia - I LOVED it. I think Dusty was a little bored, but he agreed it was a good movie. I know some of you will think I am a complete dork, but I love to go to movies and I often reflect on my life after seeing some. This movie especially made me do some thinking. I loved the character played by Amy Adams, Julie. She was a woman who worked an office job and felt that she had no meaning in life - until she came up with the idea to start a blog about cooking - specifically, Julia Child cooking. She spent one year of her life making 524 recipes from the Julia Child cookbook. In this time, she "reinvented" herself. I just loved it! It made me wonder how I can do the same. Right now in my life, I definitely feel "stuck...". The past few months have been particularly hard for me - I think I've been hiding it well on the outside, but inside I am falling apart. I have not been able to loose my baby weight - in fact, I have gained more! And, those of you who know me well know I struggle with this. And, everything else just seems crazy right now. I am struggling with my children - they can't get a long and I can't handle that very well! I can't seem to talk to my husband very well either. I'm just feeling a bit lost. I wish it was as simple as writing a blog about cooking (for me that would be impossible!!), but it's not I guess. I just need to get through this and hopefully will be better for it.
We also had a stressful day yesterday. We took my dad to the ER because he was acting very strange - we were worried that he had a stroke. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's last month, so strokes are very common. I guess Friday it started - he just was not making sense when you talked with him. Dusty and I went over Saturday morning and we decided to take him in. Well, they did a scan on his brain and didn't find anything - which is very frustrating because we all know something is wrong. He can't remember anything, and he's just acting weird - almost delusional! He hasn't slept in days (either has my mother) and I am very worried about both of them. I cannot imagine my life without my dad in it, so he just has to get through this! We have to get a hold of his neurologist on Monday to try to get him for a MRI. I guess I'm scared because my best friends dad had the exact same thing happen to him, and when he got in to the doctor they found he had had 5 mini strokes - I just think the symptoms are all there!
Well, hopefully we can figure out what's going on with him - and I can figure out what's going on with me... :)
Thanks for listening to me ramble! I keep telling myself I'll be thankful for writing this all down one day...
7 comments:
Tiff- You know I am here for you. Call me if you need me, and I know you do!
I think there is something in the air these days. I have been feeling discouraged a lot lately too. Hopefully things will turn out alright with you dad. Hang in there!
I love the fact that your venting! It's good for you to say it, and your friends all want to know what is REALLY going on.
The doctors will find out things with your dad... it's like you said... he just needs to talk to the right doctors. The ER doctors on a Saturday wouldn't have had the answers you all need and want. Be patient(easier said than done)and have faith!! Answers are coming...
Thanks for the great review! I'm the same way when it comes to movies.
I think that it's also cool to look back on the times that are tough to help us see through them with renewed perspective.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I sure hope that he gets the medical help he needs and I'll pray that you'll all get through this. :)
I miss seeing you and know that you're missed.
Tiff,
Remember when I used to call you Fanny R-U-P-P. You would get so mad at me. I still think of us in high school, it's hard to think of us as adults with adult problems. We should get together and go through the year book and laugh at all the letters we wrote to those boys...(which I can't remember their names). Our boys are the same age, they could play nicely. we aren't that far away. So e-mail me with your number.
I LOVE your dad. He has such a great testimony. Now you can be there for him. Love you!
Tiff, you are such a good wife, mom, and just PERSON in general! I love to know that other people get discouraged sometimes too, and that it's not just me! Thanks so much for your post... and one day, i think you'll be grateful you wrote it all down, too :) plus sometimes it just helps to vent :)
I do have to agree with you when you say you are good at hiding it on the outside, you always seem like you have it all together, I know sometimes it feels nearly impossible to pick ourselves back up again sometimes but hang in there. Feel free to drop your kids off and take a break anytime :) love ya Tiff! I'll keep you and your dad in my prayers.
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