Life just seems to be pulling me down lately. I really have had quite a hard year. First with my dad, then the bus crash, my depression, and everything else piling up has gotten to be unbearable. I keep waiting for my "happy ever after", but it hasn't happened yet.
Don't get me wrong - I am so blessed right now! I have an amazing family, and amazing home, a husband who cares for all of us - so what's my problem, right??
Well, I think I have turned into the worst version of myself! I am so unhappy with myself, and for some reason I just can't get out of my rut. It has been a rough 15 years dealing with some issues that just won't go away. I need to really figure this out, huh!
I also think that the move has been hard. We have such a wonderful house, but we still don't know our neighbors. It's a pretty established neighborhood and some of the families have been here a long time - so, we just don't fit in... And, I miss my friends terribly! I think it's been since October since I've seen them - and, I really haven't talked to them much either (completely my fault). I never realized how much I relied on them for advise and support. My depression has made it impossible to deal with things or communicate with people. I stick pretty close to home unless I have to work. My poor family usually has to fend for themselves for dinner. What is wrong with me??
I don't mean to complain - just really needed to vent! Life just is hard sometimes - and I've yet figured out how to deal with it. Don't you think a 32 year old should know who they are... ??
On a positive note, my family is doing well. Jack is with Steve this week and I miss him. Bree is doing her first guard camp with Wasatch Academy, and Myles is Myles - loving life and makes me laugh.
4 comments:
We are always here for you Tiff if you need anything. You don't have to live around the corner for us to talk or vent. I know how moving really can mess things up; been there and still dealing with it like you are. We are in the same boat. Call me if you need anything please.
I just love you! It's as simple as that! I'm always here!!
I get what you're saying.
Just want you to know that I love ya and I sure I hope I run into you somewhere soon!
Even if depression was out of your life equation, you most certainly have a full plate. All you can do is your best and sometimes making it through another day is the best! Hang in there!
Hey Tiffany, Its been a long time but I thought I'd just post a comment and say hello. I'm sorry you are going through such a rough patch. I miss the old Loch Lomond friends too. There was something special there, huh? Don't worry about not having everything figured out at 32! I sure don't have it all figured out yet either and I'm only 1 year away from you. Sometimes I think life just keeps getting harder- and I guess that's the way its suposed to be. Not fun, though, huh? But atleast its not boring, right? Well, anyway. I wish we were closer. And you do have the cutest family! Its so fun to see them grow! Love, Erica
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