Life just seems to be pulling me down lately. I really have had quite a hard year. First with my dad, then the bus crash, my depression, and everything else piling up has gotten to be unbearable. I keep waiting for my "happy ever after", but it hasn't happened yet.
Don't get me wrong - I am so blessed right now! I have an amazing family, and amazing home, a husband who cares for all of us - so what's my problem, right??
Well, I think I have turned into the worst version of myself! I am so unhappy with myself, and for some reason I just can't get out of my rut. It has been a rough 15 years dealing with some issues that just won't go away. I need to really figure this out, huh!
I also think that the move has been hard. We have such a wonderful house, but we still don't know our neighbors. It's a pretty established neighborhood and some of the families have been here a long time - so, we just don't fit in... And, I miss my friends terribly! I think it's been since October since I've seen them - and, I really haven't talked to them much either (completely my fault). I never realized how much I relied on them for advise and support. My depression has made it impossible to deal with things or communicate with people. I stick pretty close to home unless I have to work. My poor family usually has to fend for themselves for dinner. What is wrong with me??
I don't mean to complain - just really needed to vent! Life just is hard sometimes - and I've yet figured out how to deal with it. Don't you think a 32 year old should know who they are... ??
On a positive note, my family is doing well. Jack is with Steve this week and I miss him. Bree is doing her first guard camp with Wasatch Academy, and Myles is Myles - loving life and makes me laugh.
